Okay so January is here. It’s that time of year when us fitness peeps become important because ya’ll start paying attention. Why? Well, after the holidays are over you either step on the scale or try on your skinny jeans and realize they don’t fit very well anymore. You indulged. A lot. And now you are feeling guilty and want to fix it. We’ve all been there…myself included.
January/February is the craziest time of year for people to try and wade through the health/fitness marketing and flashy programs that promise you will “lose 20 lbs. in two seconds”…etc. For the average person, it’s very easy to get duped. Yes, even IF you are highly intelligent. And sometimes it’s easiest to dupe the highly intelligent cause they are so busy thinking and creating, they don’t exercise enough to know the difference. They, i.e. the evil marketing people, know this and so they focus on your emotions rather than your intellect to sell you things. They have the upper hand…especially at 3am when you are just desperate for a change after finishing off that 1/2 gallon of double fudge chocolate ice cream.
Here are my top 5 things to watch out for when purchasing anything health related in the New Year:
1. Shock and Awe. If it includes something that vibrates OR shocks you with electricity…pass. I know it sounds crazy, but you can’t get 6 pack abs by shocking your abdominals into submission. You have to lose overall body fat. I know. Sad, but true. No 6-pack abs will be attained while Facebooking or watching TV. Sorry.
2. Pills and shakes. Okay, this is hotly debated by some who want to believe they work
or sell them to you, but they don’t. There is no magic pill and shake that speeds up your metabolism enough for you to actually lose real weight. Trust me if there was, I’d tell you. Although if you remember Fen-Phen from years ago, that actually DID help people lose weight, but remember they pulled it off the market because people were dropping dead of heart attacks. So it’s possible that some “natural” products are still out there that can speed up your metabolism temporarily, but they are dangerous. So just remember, IF your heart starts racing in your chest…THROW IT AWAY!!!
3. Funny looking fitness contractions. Purchase this “thingie ma jiggy” and it will help you lose 5,000 lbs. in one month OR get you looking like Jessica Alba in no time. Okay, that’s nice and all, but I promise you when you finally get it in the mail, you’ll use it about 3-4 times and then forget about it. Why do I know this? Because I have a mountain of them in my house. It’s the shrine to my “get skinny quick” phase of life.
4. Space suits that promise to burn the fat right off you, i.e. sweat suits. If they tell you that you can sweat weight off you, it’s kinda true, BUT it’s very temporary. Your body is comprised of mostly water, so when you sweat you weigh less, BUT the second you drink water again you will put it back on. This is something that CAN work for a special event to make you appear slimmer, but don’t eat or drink anything until you take pictures. Yeah, it’s like that. Celebrities do this, but it’s not a real weight loss tool. So don’t be tool and buy it.
5. Belts OR funny contractions that promise to make your waistline trimmer. As for the belts, I’ve never worn them but from what I hear, they don’t work. They bleed dark ink on your clothing, fall apart easily, and after you measure yourself…nothing has happened. By that time you feel like an ass, have stained your clothes, and are not telling anyone you actually purchased it. The ab contractions are a scam. If you want your waistline to get smaller you have to lose overall body fat. That’s the trick. Once you get trimmer, you can start focusing on v-ups and crunches.
Let’s all do ourselves a favor and stay away from all these things. If you decide to purchase them anyways, make sure to stop by later so we can all have a good laugh.